Story Review: Humorous Horror

"Who Cares About Bleeding Walls When it's a Fix Mortgage Rate" by Samuel Edwards

This quick read is a perfect palate cleanser. Whether you’re coming down from a book high or just need a quick snack of fiction, this is a fun one guys. A perfect example of horror and humor coming together.

I talked about flash fiction in my previous review of H.V. Patterson’s “Unexplained”. Samuel Edwards’s story is another great example of flash fiction (mixed with satire, which is what makes it so fun!). I thought he did a great job utilizing the title space. When you are limited in your word count, like you are with flash fiction, the title can be a craft tool. “Who Cares about Bleeding Walls When it’s a Fixed Mortgage Rate?” sets the premise of the story well. That work is done and the reader is ready to dive into this haunted house story.

Tropes

I mentioned above that this was a satire piece. The story plays with horror tropes, just one after the other!

1. “Absolutely no going into the attic for any reason.”

Who isn’t afraid of a creepy attic? You’ve got wives trapped in attics, haunted artifacts hidden away, bats, spiders, and all other sorts of things that will go bump in the night.

Sinister was a creepy movie. I don’t want to be in that attic!

2. “Stop asking”

The story also refers to the Indian Burial Ground trope, claiming that the haunted house isn’t built on any kind of burial ground. The new owners are in fact sick of answering that question since it comes up so much. Thank you Poltergeist!

3. “Beloved pets who pass away will not be buried in the pet cemetery.”

Pet Sematary was the first horror movie I watched as a kid. My sister and I slept together that night. The movie scared the crap out of us! I would agree, no pets buried in the pet cemetery.

These are just three tropes Edwards touches on in his story. He just keeps them coming. Lots of fun!

Ordinary Terror

Edwards also blends the horror with the ordinary. The household rules include screen time limits and not cursing (even if you are possessed and need an exorcism). Yes the walls bleed, but the new owners are also concerned with solar panel leasing and spotty wifi. “Demons from another dimension mocked the size of my manhood.” and  “the poltergeist in the bathroom kept trying to sell me a time-share.” I really enjoyed the blending of horror with the ordinary annoyances of every day life.

Conclusion

Overall, I found this story to be timely. I’m at a point in my life where I’m thinking about buying a home. The prices are high, the responsibility of home ownership is overwhelming. When the market is in the favor of sellers, how much would you put up with being close to a Starbucks, in a good school district, and walking distance to public transportation?